maybe it’s the wine, maybe it’s the film I’m watching right now, but last saturday night was more than nice. I passed the night with my first girlfriend, with the first real one.
a woman worth loving… something Jack Nicholson says to her after the first night. (actually he says a woman worth loving..booo)
well, that’s what I felt… she surprisinly connected around 11pm and we finished talking at 9am.
she from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil me from Barcelona, Spain.
suddenly we were talkin about why we broke up, how she recognized how bad she treated me, how all her friends were amazed when she, in a afternoon party talking about their first times, described how safe, free of fears, tranquile she felt.
a weekend after seeing Brokeback Mountain, I climbed over the overall bad critique between filmstudents in my faculty, and shared with her the idea of having a place, only belonging to both of us. she hated the idea of it being Malta, so she proposed Angra dos Reis, but this was too close to Rio for me… we finally agreed in the middle of the Atlantic in Fernando de Noronha…
a neutral territory, something a bit distant to her boyfriend, the only one after me… I can’t say the same, but anyway.
we spoke of the past, and when the sun came out and maybe because of beeing sleepy the situation became a bit strange after being funny, erotic, melancholic it became a bit resentful and bitter.
dreaming of how it could have been… well, lot’s of people think this is a bit masochistic, although I believe you have to live happyness and sadness 100% to be able to say: Yes, I have the guts to live conscient of the experiences you go throug…
dreaming of how it could have been didn’t make me feel better, but it was worth it.
nicholson and keaton will always have Paris…